I want. A lot of things.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

dear auntie christmas,

screw you.

I simply do not know where this year has gone. Only 9 days till christmas, and I haven't bought a single present. I truly am the worst of procrastinators.

I am far too young to feel this old.

seriously. what happened to this year? I feel like I was a different person a year ago. I feel like I have grown so much, yet i know twelve months isn't that long of a stretch. I can't be a completely different person of course. I still have all the same values, and beliefs i did a year ago; except now i'm with someone who truly understands and supports my beliefs and values, so there is a sense of freedom.

In the past year I got my first apartment, kept a job, became a vice president, cut back on meat, got a kitten, passed chemistry, and met someone (who still gives me butterflies after 10 months [did someone say cheezy?]). OH and I got texting, finally.

after some reflection I have come to the conclusion that I really do like the woman that I've become. I am so much more secure with myself, and my relationships with everyone around me.

security; that's my word of the year.

I have healed the turbulent relationship with my brother finally. this is something I have always worried about, and now I am certain that our relationship will no longer be like oil and water but rather like salt and sugar. We mix well, but he's still bitter at times, and I try to be sweet by talking to him daily.

I am now fully aware of the difficulties that the future will likely bring in relevance to building a career and becoming a stable individual. I know that right now the industry that I wish to devote my life too is shifting to a global scale, and I am also willing to embrace this, and travel where ever it takes me.
I still thirst to travel, but I no longer thirst to leave like I did a year ago. Currently I have nothing to run from; only something to run to.

I am certain that the coming year will be much more difficult than this past year. I have a busy semester coming up. but I am also certain that everything will be ok. I'll do fine. I'll get through it, just like I have for the past 19 years, 1 month and 9 days.